?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

You Know You're a Debut Author When...

One thing I've observed as I wander this crazy journey known as the debut year - which is actually sort of misleading, since for many of us (translate: me) the start to finish line is actually more like four years, but I digress - is that it is easy to get so caught up in the process that I begin to take myself too seriously. Did I promote enough? Too much? Facebook? My Space? Twitter? Postcard vs. bookmark? Blog? Just keep writing and leave it all to fate? It gets a little crazy. Which is when I know it's time to poke a little fun and just get over my big bad self. Thus, the following, in the spirit of comedian Jeff Foxworthy. (I'm assuming everyone's familiar, but hey I live in Texas)

You know you’re a debut author when:

•You check your Amazon rating so often you get carpal tunnel.
•It occurs to you that people are going to read your book and you find it sort of odd that with everything else going on, this sort of hasn’t occurred to you.
•You take everything that happens as a sign: My agent watched Gossip Girl tonight and so did I. A new sale is imminent.
•You obsessively check your email within three seconds after sending out sample chapters of book 2 to that same agent.
•You repeat this behavior during any submission process to editors.
•If you don’t hear from someone within what you deem a reasonable amount of time, you commence Google-stalking. Your definition of a reasonable amount of time varies, but often is something like 2 and half nano-seconds. Sometimes less.
•You get so good at the Google-stalking thing that you feel a little frightened.
•You alternate between focusing on self-promotion and feeling that talking about yourself and your book so often is just kind of creepy sometimes.
•You occasionally – in your darkest moments – refer to JK Rowling as “she who cannot be named.” And then you feel bad about it and wish her well. Not that she knows. Or cares. Or needs to.
•You still get majorly freaked out when you actually talk to other authors who have books out. For you it is like talking to a rock star. This results in your giddy demeanor when you get two minutes with John Green at TLA and ramble on about how clever he is until there’s a fake smile pasted on his face. You repeat this with Scott Westerfeld. Meg Cabot’s line is too long, which ultimately is probably a relief to both of you.
•You see that a big name author has marked your debut as “to read” on Good Reads. This simultaneously thrills you and makes you want to throw up.
•You do the dance of joy when your ARC’s arrive. And then you freak out when people you don’t know start to request them. But you know this is a good thing.
•You laugh hysterically when someone asks, “So how long did this process take?”
•You figure out answers to other questions, including but not limited to: How much are you making? Do you think it will all take as long next time? How did you get an agent? Do you think you’ll be the next Stephenie Meyer? This is your second book, right? Because didn’t you write one a while ago? And other stuff like that.
•You Google yourself. Okay, a lot. You feel embarrassed about this. But then you do it again.
•And mostly, you feel absolutely, positively, profoundly grateful for this journey and for the opportunity to do what you love and share it with other people. This is a gift. And you are aware of that every second of every day.

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
writerjenn
Jun. 22nd, 2009 01:32 am (UTC)
LOL!
jenny_moss
Jun. 22nd, 2009 01:35 am (UTC)
"It occurs to you that people are going to read your book and you find it sort of odd that with everything else going on, this sort of hasn’t occurred to you."

lol - yes, yes!

Love this post, Joy. :)
kristin_briana
Jun. 22nd, 2009 02:36 am (UTC)
Haha. For the record, this can also apply to un-agented authors. Particularly "If you don’t hear from someone within what you deem a reasonable amount of time, you commence Google-stalking." :P But don't tell the agents who have my partials/fulls.
(Anonymous)
Jun. 22nd, 2009 03:30 pm (UTC)
OMG, that's SO ME!
"You obsessively check your email within three seconds after sending out sample chapters of book 2 to that same agent."

YEP!

Beth Fehlbaum, author
Courage in Patience, a story of HOPE..
http://courageinpatience.blogspot.com
Ch. 1 is online!
Seeking New Publisher!
jtdutton
Jun. 22nd, 2009 10:10 pm (UTC)
You mix a serious cocktail of TRUTH and HUMOR Joy. I laughed too loud both times I read this.
Jen
beberly
Jun. 23rd, 2009 01:20 pm (UTC)
If your next book is not a HUMOR book, I'll eat my pen.
You are a master!
(Anonymous)
Jun. 26th, 2009 03:15 pm (UTC)
debut author
You cracked me up. How about when you go to your first fan conference and readers want your autograph and you wonder Why? I'm just a former (fill in previous occupation here). Or when you first meet your editor, and she takes you to lunch and you gawk at the restaurant like some hick tourist (that's ME!)
Suzanne Arruda
www.suzannearruda.com
joypreble
Jun. 26th, 2009 05:56 pm (UTC)
Re: debut author
LOL, Suzanne. Yes! All true...
lafreya
Jun. 27th, 2009 08:50 am (UTC)
LOL My novel just got accepted by a publisher so I'm looking forward to all of this. Especially


And mostly, you feel absolutely, positively, profoundly grateful for this journey and for the opportunity to do what you love and share it with other people. This is a gift. And you are aware of that every second of every day
(Anonymous)
Jul. 23rd, 2009 07:10 am (UTC)
ed hardy


ed hardy swimwear (http://www.ed-hardy.cc/ed-hardy-women-apparel/ed-hardy-swimwear.html)

ed hardy (http://www.edhardy-zone.com/)

ed hardy tanks (http://www.ed-hardy.cc/ed-hardy-women-apparel/ed-hardy-tanks.html.html)

ed hardy woman t-shirts (http://www.ed-hardy.cc/ed-hardy-women-apparel/ed-hardy-woman-t-shirts.html)
(Anonymous)
Sep. 3rd, 2009 06:50 am (UTC)
poppuma shoes
http://www.poppuma.com
poppuma shoes
http://www.poppuma.com/mens-puma-sf-trionfo-low-c-574.html
Men's Puma SF Trionfo Low http://www.poppuma.com/mens-puma-sf-trionfo-low-whiteblueblack-shoes-p-13185.html
Men's Puma SF Trionfo Low white/blue/black Shoes
(Anonymous)
Sep. 3rd, 2009 06:54 am (UTC)
http://www.tblman.com
http://www.tblman.com
Timberland boots
http://www.tblman.com/timberland-mens-rolltop-boots-c-845.html
Timberland Mens Roll-Top Boots
http://www.tblman.com/black-gum-sloses-mens-timberland-rolltop-boots-p-35277.html
Black gum sloses Mens Timberland Roll-Top Boots
(Anonymous)
Sep. 28th, 2010 06:21 am (UTC)
http://www.efox-shop.com
Hello!everyone!iphone is so expensive.so I like ciphone. I want to introduce efox-shop to you
d^_^bIt is very interesting. . Sciphones i68,ciphone c6,Ciphone,cecthandy,Sciphones ,cecthandys,hiphone,HIPHONE 4,pinphone 3gs (http://www.efox-shop.com/)
heaven32
Oct. 29th, 2010 06:16 am (UTC)
I am student of 640-721 and 640-802 and also love to reading blogs , because there are many new information and updates like 640-816 and 640-822 your article have good information I like it thanks for sharing. I visit this site interesting blogs ever much viewed, after a long time.
(Anonymous)
Nov. 23rd, 2010 06:09 am (UTC)
http://www.efox-shop.com/
This article is very interesting, I like it. I will always come to visit after.I would recommend to friends more.[url=http://www.efox-shop.com/handys-hiphone-c-110_111/] hiphone [/url],it is not only look cool but also cheap,my friend always go to the [url=http://www.efox-shop.com/] efox-shop [/url] ,Hurry to see if you like......Grosshandel in http://www.efox-shop.com/
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

February 2010
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28      
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow